Just a Spoonful of Sugar
by Molten-Ashes
Summary: Just a spoonful of sugar makes the energon go down, in the most delightful way!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or the vauge references used!

Please R&R

(this is what happens when I watch Disney movies late at night... Crack. Starring Prowl, Jazz, a cameo by Cliffjumper and mentions of other ARK members. Enjoy!)

* * *

There were no other words for it.

Prowl, Second in Command of the Autobot faction and general Cold Aft, had a sugar rush.

Jazz groaned as Prowl's face lit up at the sight of a shiny looking data-pad, "Prowl as much as you like paperwork I'd advise not eating it" He commented as the SIC took one look at the shiny, silver edge of the pad and immediately stuck it in his mouth.

Prowl's overly bright blue optics watched him almost wearily as the saboteur managed to pry the pad out of the tacticians mouth only for the SIC to suddenly start to babble like Bluestreak on a good day.

"You know I should have cut loose ages ago and now I see why Bluestreak likes talking so much because it gets so much off your chest plates and you can get people to listen to you more if you interact by talking, but the funny thing is I just generally can't be bothered. I mean if you had to do all the paper work I have to do… Squirrel!" Jazz shot up from his seat in fright as Prowl suddenly flung out a hand and pointed to the door his optics taking on a crazed sheen.

Cliffjumper stuck his head in the door looking annoyed as Prowl relaxed and went back to poking his data-pads with the end of a stylus. "He still being weird?"

"If you include chewing on data-pads, snapping stylus' and randomly shouting 'squirrel' at inanimate and moving objects then yes" Jazz sighed as Prowl broke another stylus between his fingers and with a disgusted frown tossed it onto the floor among the other broken ones he had gotten through "Have the Twin's got their punishment yet?"

"Ironhide strapped them to moving targets in the firing range. Weapons practice has never been so popular" Cliffjumper said nervously edging away when Prowl started humming to himself swaying from side to side in his seat, doorwings flopping up and down in lazy contentment.

"Still can't believe that they poured seven bags of sugar into his energon" Jazz chuckled as the SIC bobbed his head in apparent agreement.

"They were snickering when I was drinking my energon, then it went a bit fuzzy" Prowl said with an oddly cute pout "I remember telling Sunny that he was a jerk and Sideswipe that he was a brat in serious need of parental guidance. And that was it… poof! I can't remember what I done after that. It's weird isn't it? You know, I do hope I punched one of them, the little snots deserve it! After all the grief they give me over their blasted pranks and insubordinations, the least they can do is stand and take a punch"

"Yeah… I'll tell Ratchet he still needs a few hours to calm down from that system purge before he gets another one" Cliffjumper said as the tactical officer gripped the edge of his desk and leaned forward to convey his point "Sugar is actually blends quite well with energon according to Wheeljack, they poured a beaker of energon on a sample of sugar they took and the energy surge fused all the lights in the labs."

"Fun. Prowl try to keep the talking out of Bluestreak proportions please" Jazz said reclining back in his chair as the tactician twitched, watching Cliffjumper edge out of the door and escape down the corridor at a run "You are terrorising the crew"

"But I like talking to you" Prowl said suddenly his attention suddenly focused keenly on Jazz, sliding out of his chair sauntering over and leaning into the saboteurs personal bubble "You pretty"

"Uhh… Thank you?" Jazz nearly squeaked as Prowl's fingers ran down his chest plating

"Can I frag you?" Prowl suddenly asked keenly

The Head of Speacial Operation choked on air as Prowl leaned in further, his intakes puffing out sweet smelling atmosphere thanks to the sugar infused energon that the tactician had drunk and was responsible for the SIC's peculiar behaviour "How about we go slow first?" he almost begged trying to lean away. "I'd rather hear you ask that when you are completely sober"

"I'm not drunk, I'm as high as a… a kite!" Prowl declared proudly after some thought waving a finger in Jazz's face in the universal 'nuh-uh' gesture "Can I go outside now?" the Datsun asked suddenly his optics loosing the intense flare of cobalt blue and returning to their cool icy light, moving away from Jazz to slouch in his chair again.

"Man all these conversation changes are going to give me whiplash" Jazz muttered with a relieved sigh rubbing his optics under his visor as Prowl seemed to bounce on his chair waiting for an answer "No, Ratchet says to stay here until your battle computer and processors manage to sort through all that weird energy you've got running through you"

"Ratchet-smatchet" Prowl grumbled picking up another stylus and beginning to doodle on a data-pad that had 'Classified: On risk of extermination if opened!' written on it "You know, I think the reason that he is moody is that he and Wheeljack don't get it on often enou… Squirrel!"

Jazz groaned again rolling his optics as Prowl pointed at the lamp on his desk "That's a lamp Prowl"

"Oh" Prowl replied poking it with the end of a stylus "Can I sing?"

"If you want to" Jazz said shrugging "Your office, I'm just babysitting you until reality reboots"

And so Prowl, Second in command of the Autobots and general Cold Aft started to sing… "Just a spoonful of sugar makes the energon go down, in the most delightful way!"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers!

please R&R

(Prowl has a helm-ache... enjoy!)

* * *

Blinding light?

Check

Aching Processor?

Double check

A random blob that is looking more and more like Jazz?

Check

"Welcome back Prowl!" Jazz grinned his voice loud and ringing in his audios making him cringe and try to bury his head into the berth. "Thank Primus you are back to normal… you ARE back to normal aren't you?"

"What do you mean?" he groaned clutching his helm as he sat up Jazz backing away sheepishly as their helms nearly collided. "Where am I?"

"You're in my medbay" He heard Ratchet growl making him squint in the white and red medics direction. He cringed again when he saw the medic, hands on hips with a frown "What do you remember?"

"Getting my morning energon" he replied cradling his aching helm in his servos "Then everything goes a little blurry"

"ah…" Ratchet said his frown perking into a creepy smile "Well off you go! Have fun trying to remember the last few hours!"

"Mean Aft" Prowl mumbled his poor helm rebelling against his manner protocols. He shuffled off of the berth and staggered upright onto his pedes gripping Jazz's offered shoulder as he wobbled "What the frag did I drink?"

"The new, all the rage, Prowl Shots" Jazz chirped "Only you drunk a cube instead of a shot, not the new stuff I managed to concoct for the monthly party. Congrats Prowl you have a drink named after you!"

"Why?" the Datsun muttered not feeling any pride at having been the guinea pig for the new 'shot' that the ARK crew had named after him.

"Well, the effects kinda crept up on you, I mean you were fine after the first ten minutes then you suddenly went absolutely nuts. A bit like you creeping up on people and then suddenly dishing out punishment so we all agreed to have this drink named after you" Jazz explained with a cheery smile as the SIC grunted in distain

"I hate you all" the tactical officer grumbled as they reached the Rec-room and slouched into a chair, letting his helm thunk down onto the table drawing a few bewildered stares at the usually stoic SIC before going back to their loud conversations as Jazz left to get Prowl and himself a cube of energon.

"Hi Prowl!" Smokescreen practically sang sitting beside his elder brother and slamming his half empty cube right beside Prowl's helm. "How are we this fine afternoon?"

"Smokey if you even dare to speak any louder than a whisper not even hiding behind Prime will save you" Prowl snapped his doorwings flaring to show his displeasure at his brother

"Come now brother" Smokescreen smiled "You earned me quite a few credits this orn, I'm trying to spread the love"

"Go give it to Bluestreak" Prowl said offering his middle brother a glare "Our dear youngest sibling likes hugs. I don't"

"Nah, he's after Sunny's hugs at the moment" Smokescreen grinned as Prowl stiffened "I've got a bet on that one ending up in a good interface session, do you want in? I've got really good odds"

"Does Sunstreaker know that Bluestreak is related to us?" Prowl asked casually his blue optics giving a sharp glint "And no, I'm not betting on Bluestreak's love life"

"Nope, ain't life great?" the blue and white mech laughed as Jazz sank back into his seat "Can't wait to see his face when Bluestreak makes him come to his remaining family to ask permission to court him"

"You remember anything yet Prowl?" Jazz asked shoving a cube towards his friend as the Datsun managed to reel himself up into a sitting position

"No, but I have a weariness for energon now" Prowl said with a frown as he prodded the cube of energon wearily before taking a nervous sip. His processor still felt horrible, like a thousand banging drums inside his helm "I'm going to make Megatron eat his own Fusion Cannon if he even dares launch an attack"

"That I'd pay to see" Jazz laughed as Prowl drank the rest of his energon and sank his helm back onto the table

"Autobots! Decepticons Inbound!"

"I hate life" Prowl growled slamming a fist into the table beside his helm making his brother chuckle "Why is it that every time someone says Decepticons they magically puff out of thin air?"

"It's called a Convenient Plot Turn" Jazz said sympathetically patting his friends shoulder as they filed out of the Rec-Room, Ironhide rushing past them gleefully "apparently they happen quite a lot. They bring other characters around at exactly the right moment… or the wrong moment as the case may be"

"Why is it never a good Convenience?" Prowl muttered flexing his doorwings as the other bots scrambled to their posts.

"Because that just isn't our luck" Smokescreen grinned ignoring his elder brother's thunderous scowl

"Who has Megatron's Com. Link number?" Prowl suddenly demanded

"Why?" asked Optimus as he came to the ARK blast doors

"I want to give him a piece of my processor" Prowl grumbled "I have a hang over, I demand a battle delay until next month"

"Prowl war doesn't work like that" Optimus soothed nervously as Smokescreen and Jazz made frantic 'stop!' motions behind his SIC's back

"Optimus" Prowl growled in a low threatening tone "Do you really want that video of you drunk on high grade in a tutu dancing around the Rec-Room going around the ARK?"

"You wouldn't dare!" Prime cried attracting everyone's attention

"Try me" Prowl smiled smugly, his helm-ache lifting slightly as the mortified look in Optimus' optics

"I'll get you for this Prowl" the Prime grumbled

"No you won't" the tactician said "Red Alert and I have an agreement"

"Fine. No battle" Optimus said crossing his arms clearly pouting behind his mask

"Thank you Prime" Prowl said airily turning on his heel and grabbing Jazz by the scruff bar

"Hey!" his friend yelped "What are you doing?"

"I do seem to remember you said I could frag you once I was sober" Prowl commented loudly making Smokescreen give a delighted squeal

"I said you could **ASK** once you were sober" Jazz said still getting dragged behind the now cheerful Datsun clearly over his helm-ache as Optimus went out to explain to Megatron that 'no he wasn't insane, his SIC was being a glitch and yes you can have two battles next month instead of one because my tactician is being a stubborn fragger.'

"Same difference" the Second in Command of the Autobot faction and General Cold Aft hummed "I have handcuffs somewhere as well so you'll be in good hands."

"Woah!" Jazz cried starting to struggle as he was dragged around the corner "I didn't agree to handcuffs! Hey! Prowl!"

Smokescreen took one look at the assembled bots and then gleefully squealed "Pay up!"


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers!

Please R&R!

(Third and final chapter :D Thanks to everybody who has read, reviewed and/or faved! Hope you enjoy this!)

* * *

"How long has Jazz been in Prowl's quarters now?" asked Smokescreen as he lounged in the Rec-Room trashing Wheeljack at a game of Go Fish, wearily eyeing Bluestreak and Sunstreaker relaxing by the TV together.

"About an Orn" The engineer snickered fanning his cards "Prowl came in here a few hours ago, collected two cubes and went back to his quarters, Poor Jazz"

"You mean lucky Jazz" Smokescreen snorted "Fragger is probably getting interfaced into the floor"

"Jealous Smokey?" Bluestreak asked sticking out his glossa at his elder sibling

"Just waiting for the right mech or femme Blue" the gambler replied with a cheeky grin both looking up as Jazz finally stumbled into the room. "Looks like somebody traded quite a lot of paint" the yellow chevroned mech laughed at the large and numerous streaks of white over Jazz's black pelvic armour.

"I can't walk straight" Jazz grumbled as he swayed towards a seat "But frag, if the mech isn't Primus himself in the berth"

"Eww." Bluestreak whined clamping his hands over his audios "Too much info!"

"Ha!" Smokescreen laughed turning towards a smug looking Wheeljack "Looks like me and you cashed in 'Jack"

"Good" the engineer grinned "Sorry Jazz, but I've had experience with Prowl's interface partner stumbling into the medbay in the old base way before you joined."

"Coulda warned me" the Saboteur replied "Never knew a mech that emotionless in his day job could be that kinky"

"I'm going before I need to clean out my processor" Bluestreak groaned, Sunstreaker looking up from his sketching pad and giving them odd looks before going back to his activity. "I'll see you tomorrow Smokey"

"Sure, see ya Blue!" Smokescreen called after his little brother waving his fan of cards before half heartedly beating Wheeljack at another round of Go Fish "So Jazz, you going to keep seeing my bro or what?" he asked in a whisper so that the gossipers couldn't hear.

"Pit yeah" came the reply "Prowlers mine"

_**-Communcations Room - Night Shift-**_

"So Jazz was telling me that you're his now" Smokescreen smiled at his elder brother flicking his wings in a teasing gesture as they sat in the Communication Room waiting for the shift change, the two Praxians the only mechs in the room at this hour at night.

"Yes" replied Prowl crisply flicking an amused gesture right back "I never knew he could bend that much, he's definitely a keeper"

"I sense a Bonding Ceremony" the younger mech snickered swiping his doorwings out of Prowl's reach as he tried to give one a punishing tug

"No betting or do you want to have a vacation in the brig again?" the SIC grumbled back settling for swatting his brother on the arm as the Comunications Room's door hissed open permitting Bluestreak and Sunstreaker inside. "Ahh, our victim has arrived"

"Play nice brother" Smokescreen chuckled louder so that Sunstreaker could hear them "So who you wanting to get our permission to court Blue?"

Both Praxians swivelled in their chairs to a horrified Sunstreaker and a hopeful looking Bluestreak. "Well, Well" Prowl smiled evilly feigning surprise "Hello Sunstreaker"

"You have got to be kidding me" the gold twin squeaked as Prowl, looking like a villain from one of Sideswipe's comics, sat leaning against the back of his chair his elbows leaning on the rests and his fingers supporting his helm, a creepy smile on his faceplate

"No joke Sunny" Smokescreen grinned crossing his legs and leaning on his raised servos by his helm. "Little Blue is our dear baby brother, as tradition indicates; Bluestreak has to show his suitor off to his older family members."

"I really should have seen this coming" the twin groaned in his chair "I'm not going to be allowed to court him am I?"

"I never said that" Prowl said tilting his helm with a Cheshire grin "As long as you don't break my little brother's spark I won't have to draw and quarter you with Ratchet's micro-surgery scalpel"

"I don't think that's possible Prowl" Smokescreen stage whispered as Bluestreak gave them both a delighted look before hugging the golden frontliner who was looking a bit ill at the mental image of Prowl drawing and quartering him with a tiny scalpel.

"Not the way I'm imagining it. And the way I'm visualising it, it is very possible" the black and white datsun smiled back before inclining his helm at his youngest sibling and his suitor "Sunstreaker. You have my permission to court Bluestreak"

"You have mine too" Smokescreen chimed in with a grin before both older Praxians swivelled back to the blinking control panels as if the conversation had never happened.

The resulting processor crash had Bluestreak and an annoyed Smokescreen dragging the frontliner down the corridors of the ARK to the medbay.

Red Alert cackled hysterically at the security footage, accidently waking the snoozing Inferno who gave the usually paranoid Security Director a glare before ignoring his Bondmate and returning to his recharge.

_**-The Next Day-**_

"What do you mean you can't be bothered?" Optimus asked incredulously across the secure communication line

"Like I said Prime" Megatron drawled "I'm all out of ideas for this month's diabolical plan and Starscream is too busy pining after that giant scientist shuttle to come up with anything suitable that I can pass off as my own. Most of his plans include somehow kidnapping Skyfire and convincing him to come over to the Decepticon faction."

"But… But…" the Prime flailed "You can't do that!"

"You done it to me last month Prime" the grey gun-former growled back

"But that wasn't my decision" Optimus snapped in return "Prowl took it out of my servos plus he traumatised half the crew when he fragged Jazz so hard he couldn't walk properly for a week no matter how many times he tried to defrag his equilibrium chip"

"Prime… I didn't need the mental image" Megatron replied shaking his head of the suggestive material that was now bouncing around in his processor. Suddenly the War Lord shuddered and his optics dimmed.

"Megatron?" asked Optimus curiously as Soundwave appeared on screen

"Situation: Megatron Has Had A Processor Crash.

Cause: Mental Imaging Of Autobot SIC and Autobot TIC Interfacing.

Action: Shutting Off View Screen And Suggesting We See You All Next Month" the mech droned before the screen hissed with static and went dark

"uhh…" the Prime stared before shaking his helm bfore turning on his heel and leaving the Communications Room "I need a Prowl Shot. The buzz might do me good…"


End file.
